Many people who are being abused do not see themselves as
victims. Also, abusers do not see themselves as being abusive.
People often think of domestic violence as physical violence,
such as hitting. However, domestic violence takes other forms,
such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.
Domestic violence is about one person in a relationship using a
pattern of behaviors to control the other person. It can happen
to people who are married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or
lesbian; living together, separated, or dating.
If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to
control you;
pushing, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, or biting
threatening you, your children, other family members or pets
threatening suicide to get you to do something
using or threatening to use a weapon against you
keeping or taking your paycheck
puts you down or makes you feel bad
forcing you to have sex or to do sexual acts you do not want or
like
keeping you from seeing your friends, family or from going to
work
YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED!!
Remember threatened or actual physical violence may be illegal.
Consider calling the police for help
Abusers are not easy to spot. There is no 'typical' abuser. In public,
they may appear friendly and loving to their partner and family. They
often only abuse behind closed doors. They also try to hide the abuse by
causing injuries that can be hidden and do not need a doctor.
Abuse is not an accident. It does not happen because someone was
stressed-out, drinking, or using drugs. Abuse is an intentional act that
one person uses in a relationship to control the other. Abusers have
learned to abuse so that they can get what they want. The abuse may be
physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological.
Abusers often have low self-esteem. They do not take responsibility for
their actions. They may even blame the victim for causing the violence.
In most cases, men abuse female victims. It is important to remember
that women can also be abusers and men can be victims.
